We know what we need to say and who we need to say it you.
One way to render ourselves ineffective is silence. Allowing time to pass, feelings to accumulate, on-going observations regarding a pattern of behavior that is problematic leads us to a false work within our own mind.
We begin talking to ourselves about what we're feeling, noticing, what needs to be done. What we don't notice is this: we've had this secret conversation so many times that we begin to believe that we've said it to the person or parties intended.
We begin to expect a change in behavior--haven't they been reading our minds?
We're making up stories about the capacity of the other to understand or shift. We're taking care of "them." The real story, you're taking care of yourself. You are avoiding work.
You must disrupt the status quo to have the impact that you want. You must remove the obstacle of silence.